Articles

The Top Ten Greatest Team Fortress 2 Weapons

July 26, 2019



good morning afternoon or evening ladies and gentlemen my name is array 7 I think most of us can agree that as far as weapons go Team Fortress 2 is Arsenal is pretty diverse we have Gatling guns rocket launchers sniper rifles this thing that thing robotic abortions jars of piss and a random pile of things to hit people with but amongst this giant heap of entertaining in slightly maniacal toys there are a few that stand out on a golden platter of holy amazingness so boys and girls I would like to welcome you all to array sevens top 10 greatest weapons in Team Fortress 2 let it be known though I will be excluding the stock weapons otherwise there would hardly be much contest remember all this is a matter of opinion so crucify with discretion number ten number ten is an old favorite from way back when the game first started getting into updates the Sandman yes a right click to the balls never felt so good being people over the head with this little Babe Ruth pool cue and render them stood it can either hurt and piss them off make them throw their hands in the air like they just don't care or just stand there dizzy like a late-night teen in an MSG stupor it all depends on how far away you are when you hit them the reason this weapon is on this list is because of how useful it is stunning folks is an easy way to get up in their grill and ruin their weekend plus you can easily pair up some nice stun and guillotine combos the only real downside is reduced health but frankly as a scout if you're getting filled with bullets like a ghetto vending machine you really aren't doing your job well enough The Sandman just seems to have an infinite amounts of applications and that's why it's on this list number 9 true to his name the pyro is all about fire flame throwers flame axes flame lollipops and as irritating as they are flame flares yes the shotguns retarded cousin the flare gun is here and much like The Incredible Hulk with explosive diarrhea he's doing damage the good old puffin sting tactic has been around for a long time and even throughout valves constant buffs and nerfs this thing has been left untouched for as long as I can remember personally the reserve shooter appeals to me much more than the flare gun mainly because it keeps me prepared for enemy Pyro's but their critical hits on burning players is a pretty satisfying money shot but regardless the flare gun irritates me mainly because it's a crazy effective and I'm not very good at it so flare gun enjoy your 15 minutes of shame or fame whatever you count this as number 8 I'm just gonna say this now I love the loose cannon well it does nowhere near the most amount of damage and is by far the most fun for anyone who knows how to use the force of nature and the flamethrowers air blast it's useful being able to push people around like living hockey pucks the loose cannon has this spot on the list because of how much fun it is to smack people in the face of this thing and watch them soar on the opposite direction coupled with that double-dog feature that sounds like some sort of kinky sex move it's an amazingly satisfying piece of hardware to say the least smack them in the gut with his oversized golf ball launcher and you can lead check them from the atmosphere especially with lewbert charges hitting the medic in the face with the demo man's black balls can ruin his picnic and put a rather bad taste in his mouth so maybe not the most powerful maybe not the most versatile but god damnit this thing as entertaining as hell number seven you would think that the soldier is the worst marksman ever his rocket launcher has the most useless crosshairs in the history of useless crosshairs his shotgun is vast accurate as a feather filled catapult and a shovel is well a shovel so you wouldn't think aiming would be too much of an asset to him well thank God I'm wrong because along came the direct hit aside from pissing me off that you can use the scope the direct hit is a sniper rifle of rocket launchers faster projectile speed higher damage and a smaller blast radius means that to do any real hurt and pain and anguish and sorrow and misery you have to hit them directly exactly as the name suggests a matter effective now if you get good at this thing you might as well put a halo over your set and call yourself rocket Jesus cuz at close range it's an instant kill with most classes it mini crits troll yours and the launcher itself looks like a heavy-duty piece of machinery the only problem is as I said before not miss it because with that reduced Splash Damage if you don't hit them directly your explosions might as well be confetti but regardless the direct hit is incredible for those who can use it and therefore definitely deserves to be on this list number 6 pretty much all the engies fire powers in a century a shotgun man pistol combo compared to a two Gatling guns and missile barrage my money's gonna be on the century to win in a fight but valve indeed outdid themselves with a scrap cannon itself the window maker straight out of promo item hell the window maker fires metal at people but the damage dealt is returned to you as metal this goes hand in hand with the direct hit and aiming if you could hit people with it you pretty much have a rapid-fire shotgun with a bottomless clip and managed to meet shots someone once or twice virtually all your metal is back in your reserve along with the dead victim leaving you at liberty to return to your little toys well I'm not the most effective with spy checks is definitely worth it if you're going ham as an ng in some desperate attempt to buy your team some time so for as long as your landing shots you can fill up your metal reserve pretty quickly and on the side note I have to admit the window maker has the greatest firing sound I've ever heard in my life it just sounds powerful like a drumset getting hit by a train or something the window maker by far is my favorite shotgun in all of tf2 please don't ever change valve Thank You number 5 while this goes against everything that I've ever said ever the medic in all honesty has no reason to be in a fight all he has to do is just hang back and keep the rest of his team on that soul-stealing leash of his while they eat all the bullets but every now and then a medic gets cornered and that's where kitty gets claws and under sheets the uber saw normally I'm not a fan of the uber saw but I can't ignore how useful it is especially in mbm and competitive this thing can give you full uber charge ins for seconds and especially in this game that's incredibly important uber charges can change the tide of games in a matter of seconds and making that kind of game gaining power easier to come by can definitely turn tides like I said before of course the only problem is hitting someone and living you're a medic and pretty much knows picking distance of a class that 8 out of 9 times is a better firepower than you it's a risky move but the payoff is totally worth it uber saw you deserve all the attention you get number 4 it's no shock that the spy is considered a master of disguise coupled with one of the only guaranteed kill weapons in the game he's a dangerous man to go unnoticed but to me infiltration is an art and the only true master of that is the Body Snatcher aka your eternal reward while it may be more of a knife for public servers you have to admit you've got to be sneaky with it like drawing mustaches on babies when the mother isn't looking kind of sneaky but it's pretty gratifying to get that initial backstab and immediately blend in with the crowd better yet when you come up behind a heavy medic due out and take out the medic heavy turns around and his medic is still there all is good with the world until he takes in the button or playing on the payload map and wiping out everybody on the cart before people know what happened it's a beautiful moment and Plus every time you get backstabbed by it you feel like you've just been cut off there's no yell there's no noise just a small poking sound and you've gone from painting the landscape with bullet holes to an invisible corpse on the floor it just feels like someone stole your exit from you anyway the ye ER is a beautiful knife and one of the greatest espionage wonders number three even though he's fatter than Jabba the Hutt after eating Pizza the Hutt the heavy can only take so much damage and without a pocke medic on his ass it can get kind of difficult to stay alive but along comes God disguised as the delicious lunch snack Savior the snotty bitch this is a health pack in your pocket you can either drop it for your friends or be a selfish bastard and yourself it's my taste in any situation and for as long as you've got a couple seconds to spare you may live to see another capture point the only problem is the heavy for some strange reason can't keep his oral ecstasy to himself and ask to announce to the world he's having a picnic and at that point you've got a pretty good chance of stirring a hornet's nest so as with masochism used with discretion number two if there's anything I've learned from children it's that silence is golden it's peaceful it's relaxing and nobody can hear you coming when you make their head explode yes I speak of the Hitman's heat maker itself in exchange for 20% less damage on body shots you get a focus minute that makes you maximize the snipers concentration level making you a much more efficient killing machine the reason it's on this list is because it pretty much eliminates a lot of what is annoying about being a sniper under scope into a chamber the slow shot charge speed and the fact that heads don't explode when you shoot them because realistically that's what happens when you get shot in the face with something like this on top of that I feel like it encourages your aim to improve considering body shots aren't nearly as effective and pegging them and the kisser makes for a much more satisfying colorful experience so heat maker by far my favorite sniper rifle aside from the upper hand number one the number one slot was difficult to decide on there are quite a few episodes and I most certainly fried my hardest not to pan dirt to a certain class that's right number one ladies gentlemen goes to the frying pan but not just any frying pan the golden frying pan even though there are only a handful of these out there the golden pan to me is the greatest weapon in Team Fortress 2 now I've been playing tf2 for a while now and if I were to describe the game to anyone the golden frying pan is how I would do it I mean how many games allow you to cave in someone's skull with a gilded skillet there's not a lot out there trust me I've looked and that's why the golden pan is number one to me it's the perfect embodiment of what Team Fortress 2 is it's funny its obnoxious it's bright and colorful and it perfectly represents to me what this game is all about it also represents the fact that people who spend the most money in this game have the most respect and attention and therefore fits that description too well boys and girls this has been the top 10 greatest Team Fortress 2 weapons if you have any other top 10 list you'd like to see by all means say so in the comments below so my name is Ray 7 and I hope you all have a wonderful rest of your day let's play button button up large my cutting birds a firefighter you dropping thirst huffing the peninsula's to feel how your body pump up the real dance the visual prada deities pious piety my tepee this is visiting me I see everything the way someone must be more than be my Creed the game is to see stupid rappers insane but informs and I rocks harder lives entertain

23 Comments

  • Reply Jaelen Gabriel July 26, 2019 at 2:16 pm

    You listed Your Eternal Reward in your top 10 worst weapons in TF2 video. So why is it in the top 10 best video?

  • Reply fish throw July 26, 2019 at 2:16 pm

    Why da fuk is the holy mackerel not #1

  • Reply Diwa Alimar July 26, 2019 at 2:16 pm

    the heatmaker is kinda hard for me

  • Reply Skywalker The Hedgefox July 26, 2019 at 2:16 pm

    the only weapon that i love is cow mangler 5000.

  • Reply Big Ben57 July 26, 2019 at 2:16 pm

    sorry but did you just call it the "window maker"

  • Reply Micmdl dreemur July 26, 2019 at 2:16 pm

    The loose cannon isn't even that good

  • Reply Filthy Hilthy July 26, 2019 at 2:16 pm

    Katana?

  • Reply eduspeaks July 26, 2019 at 2:16 pm

    Jungle Inferno killed these

  • Reply BigE321 July 26, 2019 at 2:16 pm

    I miss the sandman it sucks now

  • Reply Percilius July 26, 2019 at 2:16 pm

    Window maker or widow maker dude?

  • Reply butterpopcorn X July 26, 2019 at 2:16 pm

    Anyone find it funny that the best and worst weapon are the same except with a different skin

  • Reply Blair Quigley July 26, 2019 at 2:16 pm

    3:13 ‘hiting a medic with demo mans black balls’
    That’s racist

  • Reply theditty.itmaster l ham mafia July 26, 2019 at 2:16 pm

    Did you try to kill bearded expense with a frying pan in the video

  • Reply Ethan Khoury July 26, 2019 at 2:16 pm

    Tbh this is the most opinionated top ten I’ve ever seen. Each weapon on the tier list that he factors is barely about its stats but it’s looks and stuff like that

  • Reply Kenneth Arkaadi July 26, 2019 at 2:16 pm

    Its super sad the sandman was nerfed and now it doesnt do bonk stunning ;(

  • Reply Lando_ _DICKaprio July 26, 2019 at 2:16 pm

    2014: sandman is a nice weapon!!
    2019: Rip

  • Reply Michele Morele July 26, 2019 at 2:16 pm

    Yea the direct miss oh sorry hit is the best melee weapon

  • Reply Mr Hoovy July 26, 2019 at 2:16 pm

    rip the old sandman

  • Reply BoyOfAwe July 26, 2019 at 2:16 pm

    So by excluding the stock weapons because their would be no contest you have just revoked your claim in your "worst tf2 weapons" that stock is bad.

  • Reply kevin July 26, 2019 at 2:16 pm

    NEEDS AN UPDATE!!!!!

  • Reply FeelsAmazing Man July 26, 2019 at 2:16 pm

    The best weapons are nerfs

  • Reply Cosmo's buddy 23 July 26, 2019 at 2:16 pm

    MINE IS CALLED RPG7

  • Reply TheSquidThatDid July 26, 2019 at 2:16 pm

    They've completely ruined the sandman

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